this is our heart

Encouraging Verses.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3-5-6

We are humbled, amazed, and forever grateful!! As many of you know the biggest hurdle for us in this journey and in many families journey in adoption is the huge financial cost. Domestic adoption almost always costs less, but still can cost families 20k-30k maybe even more, depending on the circumstances. Cost should never be a deterrent from bringing a child home and welcoming a birth family into your lives! Prior to staring this adoption journey we made certain financial sacrifices to help off set the cost of adoption. However, at the time it just wasn’t enough.  With each step of the way God not only told us to keep walking forward in faith, but has continuously opened up the door for our family in more ways than one. It truly has been a humbling and amazing experience. God is so great and faithful!! As of yesterday, we are fully funded!!! Thank you to the IRS for our timely refund and to my amazing brother and sister-in-law for your donation.

Words can’t even begin to express how grateful we are to all the people who have not only prayed and supported us in this journey, but who have also donated your resources to our adoption fund. Thank you doesn’t even begin to express the gratitude we feel.

We want to take this time to thank the following people. Your generous hearts amaze and inspire us! We are forever grateful to you!!

Donald and Stella Shotts

Bob and Donna Tallman

David and Denise Price

Kimberly and David DeJesus

Bonnie and Charlie Combs

Scott and Meghan Price

Philip Tallman

Eileen and Matt Ruter

G.E. Price

Justin and Jana Axline

Candice Safstrom

Mark and Brittny Hylkema

Dan and Michelle Combs

Michael and Deborah Rocks

Laura and Cesar Cavalcanti

Jadie Montante

Camille Buffenmeyer

Sam and Adi Tilford (sorry for the late shout out xoxo)

Special thanks to Chris and Emily Kates

We also would like to thank the following organizations for allowing us to fundraise!

Adopt Together 

https://www.adopttogether.org/

Wild Olive Tees

http://www.wildolivetees.com/

Ordinary Hero

http://ordinaryhero.org/Ordinary_Hero/Home/Home.html

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Jeremiah 29:11-13

Read below to see a bill to expand the adoption tax credit!!

http://braley.house.gov/press-release/tax-day-braley-introduces-bill-renew-expand-adoption-tax-credit

Thriving as An Adoptive Family by David and Renee Sanford

Chapter 3:  Sibling and Extended Family Relationships

Instead of posting questions to this chapter I am going to include some passages from the book that I found encouraging. I hope it encourages you as well!

“Investing wisely in this process will maximize the positive long-term effect on your family life and on the next generation.”

“Our Birth children and extended family quickly learned that the world contains may different types of people. People who look different from us, people who speak a different language from ours. Each one of them is a gift from God. They learned that family meant much more than just those who were born to Mom and Dad.”

“Adoption is not a last option for having a family. Adoption may represent God’s best option for some couples to have children.”

“Model love toward others while protecting your children and holding to your family values.”

“Become an excellent listener if a family member expresses resistance to your plan to adopt. People don’t always need-or get-to have their way, but they do want to be heard. Fight the urge to cut them off and correct each misconception they express.”

“This is the time to extend grace.”

Colossians 4: 6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

My awesome case worker Sarah sent me the links below for some adoption webinar opportunities. Click links to find out more information and to register.

http://www.adoptionlearningpartners.org/catalog/webinars/an-insiders-guide-to-identity-and-adoption.cfm?utm_source=4.2.12parentsid&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=4.12identity

https://www.nacac.org/secure/webinarregistration.html

http://www.adoptionlearningpartners.org/catalog/webinars/index.cfm

We’ve been trying to educate ourselves as much as we can on adoption while we wait. We feel so grateful that there are so many amazing books, blogs, websites, support groups, radio shows, adoption advocates, hospitals and families that we can journey with and learn from. We are in no way experts on adoption, but we are excited and passionate about learning as much as we can so we know how to better support our child and birth family when they do come into our lives.  We are so excited for that day! However, this journey does not end or stop when we get matched. This will be a life long journey for us! In the meantime, we want to take advantage of educating ourselves as much as we can.

Rebecca Vahle, who is an amazing woman and adoption advocate hosts a radio show on Saturday’s called Adoption Perspectives. If you are in the Colorado area you can listen live on Saturdays from 11am-12pm MST on KLTT Radio 670AM. If you are out of the Denver area you can listen here… http://www.parkerhospital.org/body.cfm?id=259&action=library

Below is an awesome discussion with 3 amazing woman who have all adopted. One is the executive director of Hopes Promise, the adoption agency we are with. Bryant and I learned so much from her at our adoption family training and feel so thankful that we are with such an awesome agency.  I have had the pleasure of getting to know the other two woman and feel so grateful for the amazing work they are doing in the adoption community.

Click below to listen.

http://www.parkerhospital.org/body.cfm?id=259&action=detail&ref=69 

Thriving as an Adoptive Family by David and Renee Sanford

Chapter 2 Attachment and Bonding

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Our discussion questions:

1. What kinds of resources do you have in place to help your family with healthy attachment and bonding?

2. What proactive steps can you take to educate yourself on attachment and bonding?

3. How will you set boundaries with your family and friends so you can have proper time to attach with your new child?

4. What activities or tasks will be with just mommy or just daddy? What things could you do one on one with your child to promote healthy and positive attachment?

We have blogged briefly in the past about the topic of attachment and bonding after we went to our adoptive family training weekend through Hopes Promise. Recently we have gone back through our training booklet to continue our education on the topic.  We’ve also been reading through articles that one of my sweet friends sent us. We even sent family some articles as well. Our agency Hopes Promise has done such an amazing job of educating adoptive families. Once we are matched with our birth family we will meet with our case worker to further our education on healthy attachment.

We will blog more on this topic once we are matched, but below is some brief information on attachment and bonding from our Hopes Promise training booklet.

A. Bonding and Attachment

1. Bonding

a. Connection between mother and child that develops during pregnancy

b. It is spontaneous

2.  Attachment

a. A measure of our ability to give and receive love

b. Interactive

c. Relationship based

d. Occurs after birth

This is a beautiful journey. We are incredibly grateful to be on it. Though there have been many ups and downs to date, we wouldn’t trade it for anything!  We have been given an amazing opportunity. We get to pray daily for more birth families, babies, waiting parents, matched families and new adoptive parents than we can count on our hands. That is cool. We also get to include Kensington in that journey as well which is incredibly beautiful to watch. She prays daily for her brother/sister and birth family along with other birth families and babies. She prays for our friends who have recently become new parents and our friends who are newly matched. I can’t even begin to describe to you how that warms our heart. This adoption journey has not only been a transformation for Bryant and I,  but also in our daughter. To include her in this process is something we will never regret!

One of the most beautiful yet hardest things to go through on this adoption journey has been watching Kensington go through the up and down journey with us. We have been very open with Kensington from the beginning what adoption is and how her brother or sister is going to be born. Though she may not understand things fully its amazing to see her precious heart open to the word adoption. The other day we were watching PBS together and a commercial came on and the word adoption was used. She yelled out to me, “Mommy they said adoption, that’s what we are doing!” To me there is nothing more beautiful than a child’s heart for God and their heart for others. If you know Kensington well, you know she is officially obsessed with babies. All she wants to do is hold them, kiss them, play with them, feed them, snuggle and ultimately wants so badly to be a big sister. It’s a  beautiful thing to watch and daily be a part of!  But some days it can be heartbreaking.  She asks me almost everyday when God is going to bring her brother or sister home. As a parent its hard not to be able to give your child what they want when they want it. Ultimately though, she at 3 1/2 is learning to rely on God.  That to us is true beauty.

Her face lights up when babies are around. At home she breastfeeds her babies dolls, tells me to be quite when her baby doll is sleeping and wears a big sister t-shirt around weekly. She is ready. She has been ready. We are ready. But ultimately God knows best. Explaining that to a child who is only 3 1/2 has honestly been difficult but truly beautiful all in the same breath.

Yesterday little Kensington asked me if Jesus could live in her heart. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. There is beauty in this journey.

What has been beautiful in your journey? There is a reason we are waiting. If you are waiting there is a reason for it to. My prayer for you is that you can find beauty in this journey today!

We are currently reading through the book Thriving as an Adoptive Family by David and Renee Sanford with our adoption life group. If you have adopted, are in the process, or are even considering adopting, read along with us! Or just come

Every other week we will be posting questions in response to the chapters we have read that you can discuss with your spouse, family or friends.

Chapter 1: Welcome Home

1. What are 1 or 2 signs from God that have confirmed your decision to pursue adoption?

2. Are you worn out? What things can you do as a couple to restore your strength?

3. What have been your most joyful moments of your adoption journey so far?

4. How can you prepare your friends and family for your adoption?

5. How do you or how will you lovingly respond to insensitive or hurtful comments or questions?

6. What are some things you can be doing while waiting for placement of your child?

I am going to touch on #6 and let you know what we’ve been up to. If you know us well you know we love art and design. I grew up in a furniture family so design has always been something that I have loved. When I lived in LA I once made a kitchen table out of an old tv box. Yes you heard right. I don’t claim to be great at design or art but it is something that has always brought be peace and inspires me. This past weekend we re-designed Kensington’s bedroom and made it a official big girl room! It’s still a work in progress and she is helping put the finishing touches on it. We also went to the goodwill and gathered up some cool things for a baby room that we can re-paint and make our own.

Now this may not bring you peace or keep you inspired while you are waiting, but what is one thing you can do for yourself this week to bring you joy and peace? Maybe its writing your birth family and baby letters, maybe its writing a poem, or volunteering? Whatever you choose to do I hope you feel encouraged and inspired!

I have blogged about this topic before and we keep a permanent link on our blog regarding accurate adoption language.  It is something that we are extremely passionate about so I thought I would post this again!

Together we can all make a difference!